Happy Thursday Dinarians,
Wow, who needs a Break from all this “RV” stuff and callin’ it every day and bashing those Hack Gurus like Tony TNT, Okie Oil Man and the rest of them!
Well, how about a little “Coffee Break Comedy” for our Thursday – just to help us get through another week of waiting? LOL!!!
This email was sent to me by our Skype Room‘s regular contributor Marc G, and it is just a series of excellent jokes which will make you smile. I’m not sure who “Tony” is which is the “butt” of these jokes – it is such a common name you know. Enjoy!
Tony on math
Teacher asks her class: “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on Tony.
He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot..”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then Tony says, “I have a question for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Tony replied, “The correct answer is ‘ the one with the wedding ring on,’ but I like your thinking.”
Tony on math
Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic..
“Why?” asks the father.
The teacher asked ‘ How much is 2 x 3,’ I said ‘6,’” replies TONY.
“But that’s right!” says his dad.
“Yeah, but then she asked me ‘ How much is 3 x 2?'”
“What’s the fucking difference ?” asks the father.
“That’s what I said!”
Tony on English
Tony goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”
TONY says “Mas-tur-bate.”
Miss Rogers smiles and says, “Wow, Tony, that’s a mouthful.”
Little TONY says, “No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob” and it is only two syllables!!!
Tony on Grammar
Tony was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!”
The teacher replied, “Now,TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”
Tony, thinks for a bit, and then says, “You’rean -eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a TEN!”
Tony on Grammar
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”
“Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
“My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.”
She said, “Excellent, Michael!”
Then the teacher reluctantly called on Tony.
“Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said ‘Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!’
Tony on getting older
Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.”
Tony replied, “You know, my grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
Tony answered, “No, he minded his own fucking business.”